Could someone help proofread my paper?
Are there any mistakes I missed, or anything you think I should change? Im not the best writer, so any suggestions are welcome.
It doesn’t show that the paragraphs are indented though.
Thanks!
Autumn ******, of ***********, Iowa, has been accepted as the new child psychologist for the Sunshine Psychology Clinic. Autumn often recalls a favorite quote by Tori Amos, “Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your own wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” “It’s saying that we must accept ourselves for who we are before we can understand how to help ourselves get better. I want to help children see that they are wonderful people, no matter what has happened in their past,” she says. Sunshine Psychology Clinic welcomes new child psychologist, Autumn ******, as wonderful addition to the psychology team. Her skills, experience, and passion for helping children show that she is perfect for the position of child psychologist.
First, Autumn ****** is 24 years old. She is happily married to a renowned engineer and has 2 young children. In her free time, Autumn enjoys photography, reading, and crafts. She owns her own photography studio and likes to spend time there editing photographs. Autumn loves to spend time with her family. Some of their favorite activities to do include cooking meals together and taking walks to the park. Autumn and her family also enjoy visiting Cordova Dragway Park in Cordova, Illinois. “We occasionally get to watch my husband race his IROC-Z Camaro. The kids love to watch their dad out on the drag strip!” Autumn said.
Equally as important, Autumn graduated from *********** High School in 2008. She has recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in psychology with an emphasis on child development from Kaplan University and has pursued studies in both clinical and counseling psychology. She completed an internship with the mental health department at the University of Iowa. Autumn also earned her doctoral degree and has passed the difficult EPPP exam (Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology) which is required to become licensed. All of her hard work eventually paid off because she is now a licensed psychologist and has her PhD in psychology.
In the past, Autumn has been commended on her many achievements. She has been awarded the Mathematics award, as well as the All-American award from the United States Achievement Academy. She has continuously served as a guest speaker and delivered speeches to students in many schools in Eastern Iowa to educate them about teen pregnancy. She has also served as a United Action for Youth representative to deliver a speech on the importance of supporting local clubs and programs for teens to further succeed. Autumn has worked as a nanny and provided childcare for many families. Her volunteer experience includes, but is not limited to, tutoring elementary students, coaching the junior dance and cheer, and providing free lunch to young children in need during the summer. Although Autumn has helped so many people in her community, she never expects anything on return. “I just enjoy being there to make a difference in many lives.” She shared.
As a result of her caring experiences and education, along with her passion for helping those in need, Autumn ****** will make a great addition to our team. She has touched many lives, and will impact so many more. Autumn will be working at the Sunshine Psychology Clinic as the new child psychologist. She will be handling all of our juvenile cases by providing help, support and love to children who are struggling with issues at home or in their lives. She wants to stress the importance of keeping a family whole. Parents will find their once troubled children coping with their negative feelings so they can be happy, vibrant children once again.
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Tags: Autumn, child, child psychologist, Cordova, Could, Eastern Iowa, first autumn, help, Illinois, Iowa, iroc z camaro, paper, proofread, Psychology, someone, Tori Amos
6 Responses to “Could someone help proofread my paper?”
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Have you tried the grammar checker in your word processor software? I know that MS Word has a grammar checker along with a spelling checker, you just have to activate it and tell it what type of writing you are doing. Works pretty good.
You’re off to a very good start here, but there’s one thing holding you back that is making your paper read very awkwardly. You do a lot of tense shifting, and instead of sticking to a single tense and changing only when needed, there are multiple tenses that seem awkward at times. Try to keep things that happened in the past in the past tense, and only things that are happening in the present. Just a few awkward moments here and there, but easily fixed.
The only other thing I’d say is minor, and that is just switching up the sentence structures in the first two paragraphs. You start with “Autumn” or “she” a lot, and it’d be nice to see some change ups for better flow.
Nice job so far, and good luck! And don’t rely on Word to help you. It’s an algorithm that fails more often than not. Always better to double check yourself.
Beautifully written. Although on the 4th paragraph toward the end….she never expects anything IN return…. It should be “in” instead of “on”. Other than that, you’ve done a great job.
Good luck.
Okay, here it is:
Sunshine Psychology Clinic is proud to welcome child psychologist, Dr. Autumn ******, as wonderful addition to the psychology team. Her skills, experience, and passion for helping children illustrate the perfect fit for the position of child psychologist.
Autumn ****** is 24 years old. She is happily married to a renowned engineer and has 2 young children. In her free time, Autumn enjoys photography, reading, and crafts. She owns her own photography studio and likes to spend time there editing photographs. Autumn loves to spend time with her family. Some of their favorite activities to do include cooking meals together and taking walks to the park. Autumn and her family also enjoy visiting Cordova Dragway Park in Cordova, Illinois. “We occasionally get to watch my husband race his IROC-Z Camaro. The kids love to watch their dad out on the drag strip!” Autumn said.
Autumn often recalls a favorite quote by Tori Amos, “Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your own wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.” She is saying that we must accept ourselves for who we are before we can understand how to help ourselves get better. “I want to help children see that they are wonderful people, no matter what has happened in their past.”
Autumn graduated from *********** High School in 2008. She graduated with a bachelor’s degree in psychology with an emphasis on child development from Kaplan University and has pursued studies in both clinical and counseling psychology. She completed an internship with the mental health department at the University of Iowa. Autumn also earned her doctoral degree and has passed the difficult EPPP exam (Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology),a requirement to become licensed. All of her hard work has paid off because she is now a licensed psychologist and has her PhD in psychology.
In the past, Autumn has been commended on her many achievements. She has been awarded the Mathematics award, as well as the All-American award from the United States Achievement Academy. She has continuously served as a guest speaker and delivered speeches to students in many schools in Eastern Iowa to educate them about teen pregnancy. She has also served as a United Action for Youth representative to deliver a speech on the importance of supporting local clubs and programs for teens to further succeed. Autumn has worked as a nanny and provided childcare for many families. Her volunteer experience includes, but is not limited to, tutoring elementary students, coaching the junior dance and cheer, and providing free lunch to young children in need during the summer. Although Autumn has helped so many people in her community, she never expects anything on return. She states, “I just enjoy being there to make a difference in many lives.”
As a result of her caring experiences and education, along with her passion for helping those in need, Dr.****** will make a great addition to our team. She has touched many lives, and will impact so many more. She will be handling all of our juvenile cases by providing help, support and love to children who are struggling with issues at home or in their lives. She wants to stress the importance of keeping a family whole. Parents will find their once troubled children coping with their negative feelings so they can be happy, vibrant children once again.
EPPP exam (Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology)
i would change this to ….
Autumn also earned her doctoral degree and has passed the difficult, Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology, which is required to become licensed.
you only used to EPPP acro once so i would just leave it out.
nice paper tho.
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